Huh

I m just so fucking depressed right now jesus
I dont want to study, I m always eating, I m always stressed
Today I was an object so my colleagues could joke and laugh at me
I dont have anyone by my side who I can count with... Nothing
I wished everything was simple
I just want to give up on everything and persue my passion
I want to give up in here... Moving on in another country with another life and working on what really matters and not studying stones and that shit

I just wished that God could help me right now and give the opportunity i m waiting for ... Not after, not in weeks.... Right now

Struggles

Probably I m passing through, one of the roughest moments in my life.

I m having success, and finally i could identify those toxic friends who become upset because of it. I had this friend in my class that it used to be cool to me but since she knew that I had better grades compared with her, she stopped to talk to me, plus, she made other people become against me

I mean. They stopped talk to me the way they used too, I m the kind of person who loves to joke around and now they just take everything very personal... Its not the same anymore.

And the worst of it, is that this girl also started to step away a friend of mine that was to much special for me and she neither seems to care or understand and see what's happening right in front of her eyes.

After all this, there are some friends that i met in the last summer and either they don't seem that want to suuport me and my future

I feel lonely every day. I feel unmotivated, depressed, i dont have anything that will make me glow up again because if i do, everyday i will face the same 0eople, the reasons why i m like tgis and that will make me go down again.

Right now, i m studying to my exams just because i need to and i m focusing in ky music. I still have the dream inside of me
I still have the light right here inside

I wished GOD could give me the opportunity to bexome the singervand artist I always wished to be
I could just disappear from this uncomfortable zone and make me experience the dream.

Blue

Kind act

So, today when I was walking down the street with my dog, I saw a homeless guy sitting in the rocks and I was always watching him trying to cover my identity. Then I saw that the few people who passed by him, didn't even say Hi to him and it made me think that we don't know how lucky we are until we get into that situation as well..

After 5 min, I saw him getting some "grass" out of his pocket and doing a cigarrete... I was really concerned if it were drugs or just cigarettes but the heartbeat started to get higher. Until I decided that I wanted to help, so I approached him and told him if he needed something... And he denied. I tried to understand why he was in that situation but he didn't say.  The only thing I could offer to him it was food but he didn't want. So after some time trying to help and after he denied everything, I took off and went home.

I still think if I could have done something else, but I was so scared that he could have done something to me or my dog in a road that at that time no one was passing by and would hear me scream if I did, I just wanted to play safe.

I tried to help because I was always thinking that I want to be someone who act differently than the society do. That kind of acts which reason is do good for other. I kinda wanna stand out in the community and I wanna be different in order to build up a better society in the future.
So I thought, today is this guy  who are in this situation but tomorrow it could be me and I wished that I could have someone that stood out and wanted to help me eve thought if it were just for listening myself and my story.

-Blue

Let it go

This girl, who used to be one of my greatest friend last year, because her best friend moved into our class she just stopped talking to me and she just ignores me. She is that kind of toxic friend that you know she isn't the best influence but both of you are so understandable with each other that you just carrie on with things.

But now I can see what my mom always told me about her, I m still thinking if she always used me just to have "someone" until her best friend were with her.

But the worse right now is that I met this new girl who I thought really nice and at the beginning it was just me and her and a friend of mine, but now that this girl is so important to me.. The first girl I talked in here, just started to approach her to her life and now I think this girl I met is so much away from me and I basically "lost" her for someone who uses people and is mean as hell but unfortunately I m the one who see s it.

I m just so done with her, and besides that,  others friends who I thought they were happy for me, they just don't care for the things I do today for my future.

I m feeling so much alone this days and that's why I m using so much music to express what I have inside of me. I do covers so I can scream out loud what I feel to others.

-Blue