6 MONTH VISION July - Dec ´26

 Here I am....kinda lost but living already some of the "dreams" of the vision board....doing this new 6 month focus in my new house.

So for the last 6 months I have been through some things and failed some:

- Lost commitment;

- Procrastination

- Lustful actions weekly

- Envy and anger towards people;

- Fell into legalism;

- Not in control of my feelings;

- Never be consistent in diet. 

- Lost my love for God 

- Not be responsibile with my finances

For the last 6 months I have done pretty amazing and bad things but what I can do now is look what I can change and do better for the last 6 months:

- Never be consistent in diet and Lost commitment: think before deciding if you wanna do something or not - incluiding what is the price for doing it. 

- Procrastination: medidate and envision where you wanna be in the next 6 months 

- Lustful actions weekly: get up and play some worship music to praise the lord. 

- Not in control of my feeling, envy and anger towards people: pray for God to take out the feeling of my heart

- Lost my love for God  and Fell into legalism: study the bible and what God IS TRULY.

- Not be responsibile with my finances: make budget and follow with it. 

- Gossip: leave the room!

- BLUE

Journal 03/07/2026

 Today is friday and Portugal just passed to 8th finals and I celebrated along with Marg., Marc., Alex and Eliz.
It has been weird....because I have been wanting to be closer with my co workers and not my church friends. Feel so distant from church...also because I got hurt by some people there and I just don't want to be with them anymore...plus...it feels like I have fallen into legalism so I previledge more the culture rather then God or Christ.

The truth is....the lack of confidence due to the way I look thus the value that people in church give me makes me not want to be where I am not valued. I think it's legit. Truth being told....maybe everything I know about God is throught my church lens and not the true gospel and the relationship I have with Him.

I ve opened up with Djeo and Dani, onde of the leader, but I just don't know...i can't serve...feel ashamed for it. I don't want to do it. Don't feel good about it...being exposed in front of everyone. I decided not going to SC this summer since I have promised to myself that I would never be back to SC with the same fat body that I had previously so....that's the goal. 

-BLUE